Incapable
by Unconscious Again
Summary: For the only thing he couldn't do was cry.


**Greetings Earthlings! So, thus begins my first actual foray into the Death Note fandom that isn't weird poetry. This one's another introspeciveish oneshot by moi, and I ended up favouring style over voice, therefore even though technically this is from Light's POV it doesn't sound anything like him. Fun times. Uh, the way I wrote this can be interpreted as kinda repetitive, so I'm sorry if you think of it that way, but it was a conscious stylistic choice.**

 **Warning: Okay, HUGE SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE SERIES UP UNTIL THE END OF VOLUME 7/SEASON 1. LIKE, NOTHING IS TOTALLY UNTOUCHED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Or do I? *looks around* *sweats nervously* I don't. I really don't. Please don't sure me.**

 **And on that note (pun intended): enjoy!**

 **:::**

Light Yagami didn't cry.

He had never cried, excepting perhaps the amount of bawling that all babies and very young children go through. But from the age of five onwards, he stopped entirely.

It didn't matter what happened. He could fall and scrape his knee, lose a grandparent or family friend, almost forget something had needed to be done and have to rush the job, the child wouldn't shed a tear. He would stay calm and smile, accept any pain or punishment with grace, and do better the next time.

But never cry.

He didn't cry when he got older, either. After a certain time he became responsible enough not to forget anything, and neither friendship nor romance ever particularly interested him, so why would he bother with the action? Not even boredom, that dull, grey splotch of blankness that occasionally came with his genius, could motivate him to muster the energy. It just added to the numbness that sometimes overcame him, he supposed.

And then he found the Death Note. What a wonderful stroke of luck that had been; a chance to rid the world of evil, a chance to keep innocents safe, a chance to prove himself.

Light didn't cry when he killed his first victim.

After a few days the shinigami - Ryuk - had appeared, with an apple obsession and a look that could frighten small children half to death, ( _and Light didn't cry then because he thought he was going to die and he was prepared for that_ ). But Ryuk didn't want to kill him, so Light continued on his merry way with a new pawn at his side.

That was when _he_ showed up.

Light knew _he_ was after him; _he_ had stated as much on live TV, after all. A vow, a tactic, a death threat. Fitting, he supposed. One of the two was always going to end up dead.

They were evenly matched. They complimented each other, one having the upper hand one moment, the other, the next. It was a battle of wits like the world had never seen, and the world would never see it, the two of them made sure of that.

The first time Light met with _him_ face to face, it was in a cafe. They had heard of each other, of course, and Light was surprised at how constantly he had to be on guard so as to keep safe of _his_ tricks and traps. And then the phone call came, and all of a sudden they were in the hospital and Light was vowing to catch Kira and _he_ was offering Light a job working together, even though it was clear _he_ didn't trust Light in the slightest.

Light didn't cry after seeing his father's near-death experience either.

But then he got caught up with the Second Kira, because a Second Kira there was and _he_ knew it too. And so Light had to do double the work, making sure neither of the two killers got caught while also writing regularly in the Death Note, as well as trying to ascertain this Second Kira's identity before whoever they were killed him too. That was before Light had met her.

When Light met Misa Amane he smiled, because he could use her in plans that she couldn't begin to dream of, and when she outlived her usefulness he could send her far, far away and not feel an ounce of remorse.

Soon after that they had both gotten imprisoned. Light had had a plan, he always had a plan, and so they both gave up their memories and when Light found himself in a dark cell with no idea why he was there, because _he wasn't Kira and never could be_ , he didn't cry either, because Light knew somehow that keeping calm was the only way out of this.

And then _he_ came and unlocked the cells and put Light into a different kind of cage, but one that was alright because Light knew he was innocent and eventually _he_ would too, and all the meanwhile _he_ and Light were tracking down Kira, another Kira, ( _a new Kira?_ ) and everything was alright. So Light didn't cry then.

And when they were in the final confrontation with that Kira, and the adrenaline was pulsing through Light's veins and he felt just as alive as he felt scared and hopeful and anything and everything but sad, Light smiled. And regained ownership of the Death Note once more.

 **:::**

It was two days after Light had won, (and he had won, because _he_ was gone and wasn't coming back), and Light was thinking back on that night, and how he had finally beat _him_ , and how now Light was free, and how _he_ had lay dying in Light's arms and blinked up so innocently at him, almost as if sad ( _because damn it all if_ he _hadn't known all along_ ), and Light realized that he must have something in his eye because there were tears running down his face.

Something in his eye.

Yes, that must have been it.

After all, Light Yagami didn't cry.

 **:::**

 **And there we are! Yeah, this one's a bit short, but it was kinda just happened while I was listening to Adele's "Hello" on repeat the other day so I'm fairly satisfied with it. What do you guys think? Comment down below.**

 **Ugh, I need some new transition words. Whaaaattteveeeerrr.**

 **I think that's all for now.**

 **See ya!**

 **-Unconscious Again**


End file.
